Hmmm... I had check through online and confirmed that I get the offer letter from college university Tunku Abdul Rahman.
Am I excited?? Ya.. I am... but have much to wonder again
I had tell my friend when I get.. but... but.. but... she look so not okay for today. . Ya.. I know it.. and I just still keep silence beside cause I have nothing to say already. .. she always say I had leave her alone and break her heart.. Every times I just simply answered and wish she would be better.. but it sound like useless... she say she feel to lose that I leave her if I get to study in tarc... and now.. it become true.. I had told my dar last night.. I don't know why my tears drop down and I didn't answer him any words.. I just look of him.. cause I don't know what can I do and I had think so much... If I dint get to study, what should I do? Seem like useless and no more chances to study anymore. . And I had think of if I get it. I would be happy but she say I always leave her... :'(
I had told her at the moments but she looked so down.. at that time, I just think that maybe she need some spaces and she been busy.. so I just ignore and continue my works.. and I had think of her situations and so on.. I wonder will she be like me that I had cried when the time ting go and study at penang? So.. If yes. Then I would tell her that don't be sad and we still can be contacted and meet.. just like me before.. that time.. it's just me to be in the form 6. Noone is with me like secondary friends.. All my buddy just not around. I remembered that I cried on yun's shoulder and I felt like I can't make my days without them. But now.. times gone and you had made my days. Who knows maybe you find better friends in your uni life.. and you is good enough. . You just came and work in the company two months like that.. but you have good communication with others.. sometimes, you still can make fun and jokes with them... but maybe you won't know I still be so quite and just do my works. Before you came, all of them that know of me just like I'm a quiet girl and can always been laugh. .I have no words just will smile with them... honestly, you have good communication with others.. don't know I should be happy or what... nevermind. . Don't bothers it.. just wanna you know everything will be fine... and you are a lucky girl.. you should be appreciated with all the things that you have now... be positive... actually when you talk with your mom.. I have something to say but once I look at you. All my words are gone...
It's so silent in our lunch time today. No any words.. everyone just eating silently. . Honestly, I feel uncomfortable. But i know you're not okay and nothing to be shared and say.. so I still act like it's nothing..
When I go your shop after working, your mom asked me where are you? I just showed her the way you go and go and drive the car to here.. and I had say out that you have kidnapped. She say it is my fault you kidnapped, cause I'm the one who bring you.................
Okay.. I know.. it's always be my fault when you're standing with me. Just like you say I always hurt you ma... but only God know what am I feeling every moments within all of these.... just wish you're okay and be okay
Result for Muet test is released in today too... sad to say that it's not okay.. I wonder why my results getting worse and worse with year by year :-(
But now.. I tell myself I should be more stronger enough that I always be the best. Don't bother it's a lie or joke or dream. I just need to show.. Just need to show!!!
Still got few days to go.. but i don't have a confirm room to rent and stay yet... ya.. I had found some.. but when I discussed with mommy or sis.. they just ignored me... I found so hard and you all thought it is so easy to be found??? I have no more times... If still let time be... I'm sure that I gonna sleep on the street :'(:'(
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